I come from the land of sunder.

Tater Salad & French Bread

So I am off to Whistler this weekend. We will be staying for 6 days and 5 nights. So the plan is to go and play golf Friday morning in Carnation at 7am then hopefully hit the road by 1pm putting us in beautiful Whistler BC in time for dinner. Dinner in Canada, it will probably be moose head and French bread, those crazy Canadians.

I have noticed plenty ill will between Canadians and Americans on some blogs around the internet. Canada is like Americas rival family member. They both get together on Thanksgiving, whether it is on the fourth Thursday in November or the second Monday in October, and they get drunk and call each other names. Mexico, the second cousin is in the other room telling Canada that the U.S sucks and “Why do you let him talk to you that way?” Then Mexico comes to the U.S and compliments the tater salad that the U.S worked on ALL NIGHT. Of course Mexico has to because Mexico is shacking up with the U.S. till it Mexico gets it act together. You should have heard that conversation.

Mexico: Come on Primo let me crash here. My place is getting reformed...I mean remodeled.

U.S.: Dude you moved in while I was at Ikea.

Mexico: Yeah but I painted the place for you and added another bedroom.

U.S.: True. But you ate all the CHEESE WIZ!

Anyway. To me the relationship between the U.S and Canada is more like Ned Flanders and Homer Simpson. We borrow all of Canada’s hokey players and never return them. Then Canada sends us a Celine Dion and we yell “Stupid Newfoundlanders” No matter how bad we screw up at the end of the show we are the hero and Ned get the shaft. And Lisa Rodham Clinton and Bart Bush are never going to agree on anything.

AHHH America, the lovable goofballs.

Wow. Note to self: don’t write a blog in the middle of the night.

posted by Kyle @ 11:53 PM 0 comments

Man at Work

Well for those who don’t already know, I got a new job. I will move from the ranks of security officer, which is not to be confused with ‘security guard’. I know what you’re thinking, “Kyle, what’s the difference?” The answer is that while a security guard actually guards things a security officer actually gets to investigate. BIG WOOP-ITY-DOO!

My new job will be as an administrative assistant, level two. Not to be confused with an administrative assistant, level one. I know what you’re thinking, “Kyle, what’s the difference?” The answer is, about one level.

The job comes with a raise and a Monday through Friday schedule, which is something, that I haven’t had since I got laid off from DLR back in 2002, 2 weeks before Christmas and with a pregnant wife. I’m not bitter though. I got the strangest craving for roasted duck and mango salsa.
I’ll try to blog at least twice a week.

posted by Kyle @ 4:03 PM 0 comments