I come from the land of sunder.

"Bravo!"

I really enjoy sneezing. I must admit I'd rater do it in private so I can let loose with no concern for the consequences, such as furniture and clothing. I'm not talking about the vowel-less little "snt" sneeze that cats do; I'm talking the kind of sneeze that scares children and animals, the kind of sneeze that causes you to hit you head on a nearby counter top, ahh, what a rush. Don't read this and pretend you don't enjoy sneezing just as much. Have you ever been interrupted when you were on the verge of a good one? Remember that secret rage you felt? How about when you do get a good one out and no one acknowledges it. Remember the resentment? Which brings me to the whole "bless you" thing. I know there are tons of explanations for why this phrase is used. It has become one of those social norms that kinda stuck. It's like that tattoo you got when you were younger and drunk, seemed cool at the time, now it make no sense, seems awkward when you have to explain it to your kids and it is hard or impossible to remove.
"Why say bless you daddy? Well that's easy honey, so I don't die from the plague and so Satan dose'nt steal my escaped soul." I think that since sneezing is so enjoyable and it's not an easy thing to do on command we should recognize the accomplishment with a hearty
"GOOD JOB!"

So that's it. Say good job for a good sneeze. I've already started and it is getting great results. Now, if the number of abducted souls starts to rise we may need to switch back to "bless you."

posted by Kyle @ 12:08 PM